When Kindness Is Misunderstood
“Be of good courage, and let us be strong for our people and for the cities of our God. And may the Lord do what is good in His sight.” ~ 2 Samuel 10:12
Have you ever tried to do something kind for someone, only to have your motives completely misunderstood? Maybe you offered help and they became suspicious. You reached out with encouragement and they questioned your intentions. It’s amazing how quickly fear can twist even the purest act of kindness into something it was never meant to be.
That’s exactly what happened in today’s scripture reading. When King Nahash of Ammon died, David wanted to honor the kindness Nahash had shown him years earlier. He sent messengers to express his sympathy to Nahash’s son, Hanun.
Instead of receiving David’s compassion, Hanun listened to bad advice. His advisors convinced him that David’s men weren’t there to comfort him. They insisted that they had come to spy on the land. He had fear instead trust and suspicion instead of grateful.
As a result, Hanun publicly humiliated David’s servants by shaving half their beards and cutting off their garments before sending them away in shame. What could have been the beginning of peace became the beginning of war because someone believed a lie.
How often does the enemy try to do the same thing in our lives? He whispers lies about God’s intentions, questions the motives of others, and convinces us to live defensively instead of faithfully.
Here are three lessons from this chapter.
1. Don’t Build Your Decisions on Assumptions
Hanun never asked David why he had sent the servants. He simply believed the worst. One wrong assumption changed the course of an entire nation. Many relationships have been damaged, not because of facts, but because of assumptions.
When someone’s words or actions confuse you, don’t immediately assume the worst. Ask questions. Have the conversation. Pray before reacting. A simple discussion today may prevent unnecessary hurt tomorrow.
2. Don’t Let Other People’s Opinions Become Your Guide
Hanun allowed his advisors to make a decision that should have required wisdom from God. He listened to voices filled with fear instead of pursuing truth. We face the same temptation every day. Social media, news headlines, opinions, and endless advice all compete for our attention. The question is, whose voice carries the most influence?
Before making important decisions, spend time seeking God’s direction. Let His Word shape your thinking more than the latest opinion or popular trend. The loudest voice isn’t always the wisest one.
3. Courage Trusts God with the Outcome
As the battle approached, Joab encouraged the army with these words. “Be of good courage… and may the Lord do what is good in His sight.” I love that statement. Joab wasn’t trusting in military strength alone. He was reminding the people that they would give their best, but ultimately the outcome belonged to God. That’s real faith.
Face today’s challenges with confidence, not because you know exactly how everything will turn out, but because you know who is walking beside you. Do your part with excellence, then trust God with the results.
One of the things I’ve recognized over the years is that misunderstandings are almost always more expensive than honest conversations. I’ve had moments when I thought I knew what someone meant, only to discover later that I had completely misunderstood the situation. Thankfully, most of those moments were solved with a simple conversation instead of a full scale international incident. Apparently, my life has enough excitement without declaring war over an email that simply needed a smiley face.
I’ve also discovered that the enemy loves to plant seeds of suspicion because he knows suspicion separates people. God, on the other hand, is always working toward truth, unity, and peace. That’s why it’s so important to guard our hearts from jumping to conclusions before we’ve sought His wisdom.
Joab’s words remind us of another important truth. Faith isn’t pretending there won’t be battles. Faith is standing courageously in the middle of them, knowing God is still in control.
Today I want to encourage you to guard your heart against assumptions, fear, and the voices that pull you away from God’s wisdom. Choose to believe the best until the facts prove otherwise. Seek the Lord before reacting, trust Him when you don’t have every answer, and move forward with courage, knowing He is directing your steps. There will always be opportunities to become offended, suspicious, or fearful, but there will also always be an opportunity to trust God instead. As you walk in His wisdom, you’ll discover that His peace is far stronger than the confusion the enemy tries to create, and His plans are always worth trusting.
Today’s Scripture Reading: 2 Samuel 10
1 It happened after this that the king of the people of Ammon died, and Hanun his son reigned in his place.
2 Then David said, “I will show kindness to Hanun the son of Nahash, as his father showed kindness to me.”
So David sent by the hand of his servants to comfort him concerning his father. And David’s servants came into the land of the people of Ammon.
3 And the princes of the people of Ammon said to Hanun their lord, “Do you think that David really honors your father because he has sent comforters to you? Has David not rather sent his servants to you to search the city, to spy it out, and to overthrow it?”
4 Therefore Hanun took David’s servants, shaved off half of their beards, cut off their garments in the middle, at their buttocks, and sent them away.
5 When they told David, he sent to meet them, because the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, “Wait at Jericho until your beards have grown, and then return.”
6 When the people of Ammon saw that they had made themselves repulsive to David, the people of Ammon sent and hired the Syrians of Beth Rehob and the Syrians of Zoba, twenty thousand foot soldiers; and from the king of Maacah one thousand men, and from Ish-Tob twelve thousand men.
7 Now when David heard of it, he sent Joab and all the army of the mighty men.
8 Then the people of Ammon came out and put themselves in battle array at the entrance of the gate. And the Syrians of Zoba, Beth Rehob, Ish-Tob, and Maacah were by themselves in the field.
9 When Joab saw that the battle line was against him before and behind, he chose some of Israel’s best and put them in battle array against the Syrians.
10 And the rest of the people he put under the command of Abishai his brother, that he might set them in battle array against the people of Ammon.
11 Then he said, “If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me; but if the people of Ammon are too strong for you, then I will come and help you.
12 Be of good courage, and let us be strong for our people and for the cities of our God. And may the Lord do what is good in His sight.”
13 So Joab and the people who were with him drew near for the battle against the Syrians, and they fled before him.
14 When the people of Ammon saw that the Syrians were fleeing, they also fled before Abishai, and entered the city. So Joab returned from the people of Ammon and went to Jerusalem.
15 When the Syrians saw that they had been defeated by Israel, they gathered together.
16 Then Hadadezer sent and brought out the Syrians who were beyond the River, and they came to Helam. And Shobach the commander of Hadadezer’s army went before them.
17 When it was told David, he gathered all Israel, crossed over the Jordan, and came to Helam. And the Syrians set themselves in battle array against David and fought with him.
18 Then the Syrians fled before Israel; and David killed seven hundred charioteers and forty thousand horsemen of the Syrians, and struck Shobach the commander of their army, who died there.
19 And when all the kings who were servants to Hadadezer saw that they were defeated by Israel, they made peace with Israel and served them. So the Syrians were afraid to help the people of Ammon anymore.
Journal:
- Have I made any assumptions recently that need to be replaced with an honest conversation?
- Whose voice has been influencing my decisions the most lately?
- Is there an area where fear has caused me to question God’s goodness or someone else’s motives?
- What challenge do I need to face today with courage instead of worry?
- How can I intentionally seek God’s wisdom before responding to difficult situations?